Real hope in overcoming anger

“Is the father that can’t control his temper with his teenage son hopelessly paralyzed in the quicksand of his own emotional immaturity? Can the woman whose father left her and her mother at the age of six have non-explosive interactions with men when she’s disappointed? Is there a future for the angry man who can’t seem to maintain a steady job because of his quick temper?

The answer is yes,” Dwayne Bond responds.

There is hope for dealing with anger!  The hope is found in the Word of God which contains real help on this issue that affects many.  Read Dwayne’s article “Is There Any Hope for Dealing with Anger?”  where he discusses some biblical principles regarding anger, notes some of the more common sources of anger and arms us with several verses that will help us counteract anger in our lives.

Read Full Post »

Uprooting anger

Are you an angry person?  Are your children angry? Are you living with an angry spouse?  How can we handle anger biblically?

Here are some free on-line resources and some other biblically based books, booklets and DVDs to help you with this very pervasive problem.

Read Full Post »

Stressed out but not sinning

I was so helped by this post by Jonathan who walked me through Psalm 4 and then had these words of application that I needed to hear. From “Be Stressed Out and Do Not Sin!”

I was irritable a couple days last week when I got home from work. It was the crunch of deadlines and tasks and the feeling that I never seem to get enough accomplished in a day’s time. More snappy than angry, my family caught the brunt of my displaced frustration. Then I read this psalm.

David was surrounded by enemies — real enemies. That is enough to make someone angry, or agitated or perturbed, but he says not to sin. He didn’t try to take things into his own hands. He trusted the Lord, which included, as I said above, a hope in the future messianic king. The Lord’s faithfulness to David concerning Jesus was the foundation of his fearlessness. That’s why enemies may annoy him, but they won’t lead him to sinful unbelief (Psalm 4:4).

Might this same reality bear the same implications for me? Sure, there are pressures. Responsibilities abound. Concede that point. But be stressed out and do not sin. God is faithful. His care for David in reference to his promise secures care for me. Right there with David, the object of my hope is the same. I look to the same Messiah. God’s unfailing love for me in Jesus reaches down into the details of my life and wields them for my good (Romans 8:28). So rather than blow off steam toward my kids, I can ponder in my own heart and be silent. I can trust in the Lord. I can bank on the fact that he’s got all this under control. And that makes me a different person.

 

Read Full Post »

Help for the angry!

Tim Challies shares three fundamental principles that the Bible emphasizes about anger.

Lou Priolo suggests 11 questions for self-examination about your anger (although it would be helpful to involve others as well).

Read Full Post »

What’s at the heart of sinful anger?

David Powlison deals with the question of sinful anger–”a toxic sin which corrodes marriages, churches, and workplaces. No relationship is immune from its destruction. And for many Christians the battle against anger is a prominent battlefront in the fight for personal holiness”, as Tony Reinke points out.  Watch, grow and learn.

Read Full Post »

3 steps in dealing with anger

Know your anger.  Know your place.  Know your lesson.

Find out what Joe Thorn means by these three steps which he took in his own struggle against anger.

Before my conversion I was a very angry young man. After my conversion I sort of expected the anger issue to be settled. However, I found that anger was such a deeply rooted sin in my heart that it wasn’t going to be pulled out easily. At first I worked on the fruit sins, the symptoms of my problem. I learned to hold my tongue (at least some of the time), but anger continued to burn inside of me. I was only able to lay the gospel axe to the roots of this poisonous tree as God gave me clarity in three areas. If you struggle with anger, I hope these principles will help you answer the anger in your own heart.

Read Full Post »

Kill anger before it kills your marriage

Ponder these words from John Piper:

In marriage, anger rivals lust as a killer. My guess is that anger is a worse enemy than lust. It also destroys other kinds of camaraderie. Some people have more anger than they think, because it has disguises. When willpower hinders rage, anger smolders beneath the surface, and the teeth of the soul grind with frustration. It can come out in tears that look more like hurt. But the heart has learned that this may be the only way to hurt back. It may come out as silence because we have resolved not to fight. It may show up in picky criticism and relentless correction. It may strike out at persons that have nothing to do with its origin. It will often feel warranted by the wrongness of the cause. After all, Jesus got angry (Mark 3:5), and Paul says, “Be angry and do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26).

However, good anger among fallen people is rare. That’s why James says, “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20). And Paul says, “Men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling” (1 Timothy 2:8). “Let all bitterness and wrath and angerand clamor and slander be put away from you” (Ephesians 4:31).

Therefore, one of the greatest battles of life is the battle to “put away anger,” not just control its expressions. To help you fight this battle, here are nine biblical weapons.

Keep reading to find out about these weapons.

Read Full Post »

Is it every right to be angry at God?

Short answer:  no!

Long answer:  Read it here.

An excerpt from John Piper:

What is anger? The common definition is: “An intense emotional state induced by displeasure” (Merriam-Webster). But there is an ambiguity in this definition. You can be “displeased” by a thing or by a person. Anger at a thing does not contain indignation at a choice or an act. We simply don’t like the effect of the thing: the broken clutch, or the grain of sand that just blew in our eye, or rain on our picnic. But when we get angry at a person, we are displeased with a choice they made and an act they performed. Anger at a person always implies strong disapproval. If you are angry at me, you think I have done something I should not have done.

This is why being angry at God is never right. It is wrong – always wrong – to disapprove of God for what he does and permits. “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?” (Genesis 18:25). It is arrogant for finite, sinful creatures to disapprove of God for what he does and permits. We may weep over the pain. We may be angry at sin and Satan. But God does only what is right.  “Yes, O Lord God, the Almighty, true and righteous are Your judgments” (Revelation 16:7). (Is it Ever Right to Be Angry at God?)

Read Full Post »

Quieting your noisy, stressed soul

At the end of a helpful article on “Handling Stress“, Brent Aucion gives these ten reminders to help believers quiet their “noisy, stressed souls.”

1. Trust that the sovereign God is in control of all pressures in your life, using them for His good purposes to transform you into the likeness of Christ (Genesis 50:20; Romans 8:28–29).
2. Recognize that guilt is a big “stressor” in life. Certain pressures come as consequences of our own actions (Galatians 6:7–8). Irresponsible debt is an obvious example. Confess any known sin. Begin growing in Christ, putting away the ungodly actions and attitudes that may have led to your stressful circumstances (Proverbs 28:13).
3. Pray with specific requests and thank God for His good purposes in trials (Philippians 4:6–7).
4. Repent of any self-willed efforts to change circumstances that are beyond your control. Often believers—caught up in their pride—seek to do things only God can do (such as ensuring that our kids turn out right, avoiding job loss, fixing the economy, and converting an unbelieving spouse). Clearly when we seek to control things that only God can do, we will become stressed (Psalm 131).
5. Seek to return good for evil when pressure arises from the sinfulness of others (Romans 12:18).
6. Pray that God will help you to control your thinking so as not to worry, fear, or despair (Matthew 6:25–34). Cultivate the godly thinking that Paul describes in Philippians 4:8–9.
7. Work hard to solve problems within your control today (Matthew 6:34;Ephesians 4:26–27). God has given each of us enough challenges for today. We need to take proper care and concern for today’s issues while we plan wisely for the future (Proverbs 6:6–8).
8. Seek wise, biblical counseling in the areas of your greatest stress. Start with the most significant issue first (Proverbs 27:9).
9. Seek regular accountability to help you respond biblically to the pressures of life (Proverbs 13:20; Hebrews 10:24–25).
10. Attempt to establish helpful routines of diet, exercise, and adequate rest (1 Timothy 4:8).

Read Full Post »

Anger, impatience and providence

John Calvin:

If there is no more effective remedy for anger and impatience, he has surely benefited greatly who has so learned to meditate upon God’s providence that he can always recall his mind to this point: the Lord has willed it; therefore it must be borne, not only because one may not contend against it, but also because he wills nothing but what is just and expedient.

To sum this up: when we are unjustly wounded by men, let us overlook their wickedness (which would but worsen our pain and sharpen our minds to revenge), remember to mount up to God, and learn to believe for certain that whatever our enemy has wickedly committed against us was permitted and sent by God’s just dispensation. (Institutes 1.17.8)

Kevin DeYoung comments

As you read over the quotation about patience, remember that it applies to parenting too, as we can often be “unjustly wounded” by our children.

It may also help to remember that Calvin struggled with outbursts of anger his whole life.

Read Full Post »