- Be pure
- Be realistic
- Be informed
- Be grateful
- Be warned
- Be content
Clint also links to a book for single young ladies by Nancy Wilson.
From The Duties of Parents —
Fathers and mothers, I charge you solemnly before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, take every pains to train your children in the way they should go. I charge you not merely for the sake of your children’s souls; I charge you for the sake of your own future comfort and peace. Truly it is your interest so to do. Truly your own happiness in great measure depends on it. Children have ever been the bow from which the sharpest arrows have pierced man’s heart.–J. C. Ryle (HT: DG)
And on the subject of prolonged adolescence among young men especially, Darrin Patrick writes:
We live in a world full of males who have prolonged their adolescence. They are neither boys nor men. They live, suspended as it were, between childhood and adulthood, between growing up and being grown-ups. Let’s call this kind of maleBan, a hybrid of both boy and man.
Ban is juvenile because there has been an entire niche created for him to live in the lusts of youth. The accompanying culture not only tolerates this behavior but encourages it and endorses it. (Consider magazines like Maxim or movies likeWedding Crashers.) This kind of male is everywhere, including the church and even, frighteningly, vocational ministry. . . .
In a culture where the influence of godly men is desperately needed, this void results in a legitimate cultural crisis. We are not going to solve it by ignoring Ban and hoping that he eventually grows up. We are not going to solve the problem simply telling women that they should take up the slack.
We might solve the problem by modeling biblical manhood and calling adult boys to forsake their youthful lusts and become the men that God is calling them to be in the context of the local church. This call should come from godly men and women sitting in the pews and, specifically, from the pulpit of God’s church. The models should be men of God.
This is inspiring and worth reading. Byron Yawn writes an open letter to his daughter which is a veiled exhortation Christian fathers and young adult Christian men everywhere! Here’s an excerpt:
Dear child, do not settle. Love a man who loves Christ more than you – and you more than himself. Be attracted to tenderness, lowliness, self-restraint, consistency and sacrifice. Seek that man who carries the imprint of our Lord’s cross upon his life. Love that man who does not live in fear of your emotions, but in fear of your Lord. Don’t marry a boy… no matter how old he may be. Do not fall for the first young man who comes along and shows you attention. Rather, follow that man whom comes along and resembles the unconditional grace of your Lord Jesus.
I am so sorry about the condition of the average young male. I regret that they confuse lust with love. I am saddened that they are more proficient at gaming than at balancing a checkbook. I cringe that they know more of sports trivia than doctrine. I apologize that they know better how to handle a gun (which is completely respectable in one sense) than how to treat a lady. I know godliness in a man is hard to find. But, find it. Otherwise, you will spend your life raising the man you thought you married. The church and this culture are filled with boys masquerading as men. Let them pass.
The man you are looking for is no boy. He is a servant. He cares for your needs above his own. If I am at all the man I claim to be, you may look at your father’s love for your mother and know what it is I’m describing. You should be able to recognize it when you see it. That man who will lay down his life for yours is the type of man you can easily give yours to. The man who sacrifices himself is easy to serve sacrificially.
Read it all, men and daughters!
I have seen this article before but thanks to DG for mentioning it again.
Vern Poythress shares about how he and his wife thought about training their boys to become Christian men:
When does a boy become a man in [American culture]? When he gets a driver’s license? When he graduates from high school? When he moves away from his parents? When he can vote? When he gets his first full-time job? When he is 21? When he gets married? When he owns his own home?
No one can say. There is no clear point of transition. There is no one “rite of passage.” One of the unfortunate effects can be that boys are insecure. They don’t know when they are men. . .
What do we do to give proper guidance? I know and you know that there is no magic formula. God must be at work in teaching us and our boys, and he must be the one who causes them to grow (1 Corinthians 3:7). But you and I can plant and water.
Here are six components of the training:
Read the entire article for his explanation and recommended resources.
Bob Case, of the WORLD Journalism Institute, has a chapter in Fathers and Sons: Hold Fast in a Broken World in which he challenges young men to be Daniel-like–young men of conviction and backbone in a Babylonian like culture (though Babylon in many ways was even worse than ours if you can imagine that). Hear are some principles for fathers and sons to discuss:
“Young man, do not be deceived. Do not think that you can willfully serve your self and your pleasures in the beginning of your life, and then go and serve God with ease at the end.”
“Believe me, this world is not a world in which we can do well without thinking, and least of all do well in the matter of our souls. ‘Don’t think’, whispers Satan.”
“Better be wise in time. Better write ‘poison’ on all earthly pleasures. The most lawful of them must be used with moderation. All of them are soul-destroying if you give them your hearts.”
–J. C. Ryle