One biblical counselor ponders,
“Why does anyone keep arguing when we know it is wrong, and it is counter-productive? Titus 3 begins with a discussion about authorities and respect for them, about being peaceable, gentle, humble instead of hateful, self-centered. Is it not our selfish desires that become the dictators, telling us what to argue for and to keep going until we get what we want? We set ourselves up as our own authority, our own little god, determining what is valuable for us to attain. Other human authorities (parents, spouse, or boss) and even God, are disregarded. Pride rules.
At that moment when we are tempted to argue, we must change gears in our thinking, allowing gentleness and humility to point us to peace so we can quit arguing. We must see that whatever we desire in no way compares to the abundant mercies and grace of our Lord and the life He has given us. Our thinking must focus on eternal values and Christlikeness if we are to change and develop the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:5-11). It is the put off /put on principle, replacing our old way of responding (arguing for what we want) with humility and gentleness, that will help us to change permanently.”
The author Sherry Allchin goes on to relay a biblical strategy for putting off arguing in our lives by choosing to think like, act like, and talk like Christ. She even gives some excellent, do-able, practical assignments for changing your heart, speech, and thinking on this issue. Click on over and learn from Must We Argue Again?