Archive for the ‘marriage’ Category

“Your husband doesn’t only need you to pray that he has a good day, is successful, and walks with Jesus. These are not bad requests, but are rather generic prayers that have too little specific direction behind them. What our husbands need from us are specific prayers, hard prayers, for their growth in godliness. I love my husband and I want what is best for him. And the best thing for him is to be a man who who lives for the glory of God.

Here are five hard prayers I pray for my husband, and would encourage you to pray for yours.”

Jen lists these and explains briefly what she means.

  1. Conviction of sin
  2. Humility of heart
  3. Patience in life
  4. Love for God
  5. Discipline from God

See more at The Time-Warp Wife



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A message for complainers from  Justin Peters.  Another article that complements the video is Far Too Easily Displeased – Jon Bloom admits he is a grumbler by nature and reflects on what it is that makes us grumble.

Mothers tell their abortion stories: Sunday’s New York Magazine features testimonials from twenty-six women who have had their unborn children aborted. The stories are raw and revealing. These are not stories of feminist liberation and power. They are the stories of women who have pangs of conscience over what they have done. Some of them have muddled through the aftermath by suppressing their consciences. One woman even says, “There’s no room to talk about being unsure.” Other women aren’t able to pretend and are obviously living with a heavy burden of grief and regret.

Dr. Albert Mohler writes about this article in the New York Magazine in Their Abortions—What Do These Abortion Testimonies Really Reveal?

Effective Personal Evangelism – Jeremy Walker has completed his series of articles on effective personal evangelism. He gives us a lot to think about!

Fred Zaspel writes about the death of their 29-year-old daughter:

Surely a day will never pass, in this life, without sensing this deep, gaping hole in our hearts. We just cannot imagine life without Gina. How we loved her.

I have often suspected over the years that Christians who romanticize death have likely never experienced the loss of a close loved one. Death remains a dreaded and a devastating enemy, and there is just no way to make it pretty. It still stings, deeply so, and when it comes close like this it leaves us feeling all but completely undone.

Yet for Christians there truly is a difference. And during this past week since Gina passed, agonizing as it has been, we have learned first-hand that we really do not sorrow as those who have no hope. The weighty promises and massive truths that God has revealed to us in his Word truly are life-shaping and soul anchoring, and they provide a sure point of reference for even the most hurting heart.  You can read the whole thing here.

Are These Enemies of Marriage in Your House?

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Marriage is hard work and can be painful. And being a Christian couple does not somehow make it easy or take away the prospect of hurt. Whether we are atheists or Christians, we are still sinners living under the same roof and that can make for tight quarters. It is a reality that those we love the most have often caused us the greatest amount of pain and we them. This is just the reality of love and families. The greater our love the greater the possibility there is to hurt one another. While being a Christian couple does not make marriage easy or pain-free, we do have some great advantages that should make it easier and healing. These are just a few of the things that come to mind:

Keep reading “Pain and Christian Marriage

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Justin writes:

Life is busy. It isn’t that we don’t have good intentions when it comes to staying connected as a family, it’s just hard to be intentional.

I’ve never drifted into spiritual health. I’ve never seen our family drift into quality time together. We’ve never drifted into deep, meaningful, life-giving conversations. Those things have to be chosen.  .  . .

No matter what stage of life you are in, the next one won’t bring relief. You’ll have to create your pace of life or your pace of life will create you. 

Justin offers three questions to ask that will help you stay connected more with those you love most:

  • How much TV are we watching?
  • How many nights do we eat dinner together
  • Are we praying together?

Read more about these “Three Questions”

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Erik Raymond wants us to think about this question:

Are Gay and Lesbians the only ones who undermine God’s plan for marriage?

The answer is, “Of course not!” Just because you are hetero-sexual does not mean that you are reflecting God’s plan for marriage. You don’t get a pass just on marriage because you are not Gay. The basis of a marriage reflecting God’s plan is how it reflects the gospel. In other words a marriage is reflective of God’s plan in so far as it reflects the marriage between Jesus the husband and the church the bride. . .

In so far as we do not love one another, blur roles, or deal unbiblically with sin—then we are undermining God’s plan for marriage. Far too many Christians are sharpshooters, adeptly able to pick off the various cultural perversions upon marriage without taking inventory of their own house. This does not mean that we should be silent until we have the perfect marriage, it just means that we should not act like we are all about God’s plan for marriage when we ourselves, are not. Because it vividly promotes the gospel, Christians are to passionately promote God’s plan for marriage, starting with our own.

Erik argues his premise well in his article Straight, Bible-Believing Christians Can Undermine God’s Plan for Marriage Too.

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Dr. Steve Lawson in a recent TableTalk article:

Few influences affect a man’s heart for God more than his wife, for better or for worse. She will either encourage his spiritual devotion to the Lord or she will hinder it. She will either enlarge his passion for God or she will pour cold water on it. What kind of wife encourages her husband’s spiritual growth? Proverbs 31:10–31 provides a profile of the wife who is worthy of her husband’s trust. Such a wife is the embodiment of true wisdom from God, causing the husband to confide in her with complete trust.

“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels” (v. 10). Such a good wife is hard to find. The word excellent (hayil) can mean “strength, capability, valor, or dignity.” This woman exemplifies each of these qualities, having great competence, noble character, and a strong commitment to God and her family. Only the Lord can provide such an excellent woman: “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord” (Prov. 19:14). “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (18:22). This virtuous woman is a priceless gift from God.

Is it any wonder that “the heart of her husband trusts in her” (v. 11)? The husband has faith in her because “she does him good and not harm all the days of her life” (v. 12). She brings her many strengths into their marriage, each one uniquely suited to complement his weaknesses. Her gifts immediately become his gains, and she provides much that causes him to trust her. . .

Keep reading “His Heart Trusts in Her”

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Mark Altrogge addresses the common complaint, “My spouse isn’t meeting my needs.

When we have an expectation that a husband or wife fulfill us, we set ourselves up for disappointment, because no human being can satisfy another human being.  To hope that another human can meet our needs is asking too much of anyone.  For only Jesus can meet our needs.  Only Jesus can satisfy us.  Only Jesus can fulfill all our desires.

Expectations are killers.

If you come into a marriage with expectations of the other person, and then they don’t meet those expectations, you will be frustrated and unhappy.  Expectations are dangerous and will always disappoint.  Unless you have expectations like these – I expect:

  • That my spouse will fail in many ways.
  • That my spouse will not fulfill my desires.
  • That my spouse will not always try to please me.
  • That my spouse may not always understand me.
  • That my spouse may not always appreciate me.
  • That my spouse may not love me in the way I would want.

If your spouse happens to actually appreciate, love or serve you, then praise God!  It will be unexpected.  The problem comes when we have expectations and then they aren’t met. Here are a few expectations you can cultivate though – of yourself:

  • That I should serve my spouse and lay down my life for her/him.
  • That I should seek to please my spouse.
  • That I should try to listen to and understand my spouse.
  • That I should seek to lay down my life for my spouse.
  • That I should seek to fulfill his/her desires as best I can.
  • That I should seek to love my spouse.

Here’s my suggestion: Don’t look at where your spouse needs to change.  Look to where you need to change.  Don’t have expectations of your spouse.  If you have expectations, place them on yourself.

If anyone has the right to have expectations of us it is Jesus.  Ask him what he would like you to do to please your spouse.  Ask him to help you and make you the biggest most cheerful servant in the house and not to worry about if anyone is serving you or not.

The rest of the article here.

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